Love

Love, Bach
person playing stringed instrument

Photo by Quentin Ecrepont on Pexels.com

This is absolutely perfect.

The world needs to have this. If this doesn’t evoke some sort of emotion in you, I don’t know what will.

I like music. Perhaps, maybe I love music. I am not sure. There is something about it that goes into every fiber of me. No, I am not the dancing kind and yet at times it makes me want to dance. It can, at times, bring tears to my eyes. It speaks for me, when sometimes I don’t know what I want to say. It’s a mystery and yet I think we all can relate.

Nearly everyone has a specific genre they like more than others. Unlike may people, I enjoy a rather wide range of genres and my iTunes library reflects that. I don’t like everything, let’s be clear about that. Not all music is good music. Plain and simple.

When I saw this video I knew I just had to share. It is an obviously well known classical piece that is recognizable even if you don’t know it’s name or who it is by. It’s been used in TV commercials, movies, tv shows, and in theater. BUT, the part that stood out for me this time was how it was broken down, “deconstructed,” and demonstrated in a way that lets you feel the music. It’s moving, and if you haven’t seen this you need to.

You can thank me later.

Valentine’s Day W(h)ine
person holding inflatable decor

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

Valentine’s day is the SECOND WORST day of the year to have a birthday, especially if you are male. The first worst day is, for obvious reasons, Christmas. But let’s focus on the day at hand…

Today is my birthday. It sucks. It sucks, not because I am getting older but because the “holiday” overshadows it. Am I being petty? Am I being childish? Maybe. Should I just suck it up? Maybe. However, I am going to whine just a little today.

“You are the best Valentine I ever received.”

OK, mom, thanks. I appreciate you telling me this every year. It makes me feel better, a little. So many years ago my mom was in a hospital in a little town in eastern Washington trying to push me out. I arrived on this day and have for evermore been called a “Valentine’s baby.” My mom says that my dad bought a little can of Almond Rocha candy and told her that she couldn’t have it till I was born. I am not so sure how long it took for my arrival after that, but at least she had a goal (the candy or me?). TA-DA! There I was.

Growing up with a Valentine birthday was a little strange. I would go to school and while all my friends were running around putting little paper Valentines with those candy hearts in them I was just wishing someone would say, “Happy Birthday!” As I got a little older, some of my friends actually realized that the day was also my birthday and they somehow managed to find Valentines that were BOTH a Valentine and a birthday greeting. They were my heroes for the day, for sure.

As I got older, middle school and high school, I realized that this was going to be a “no win” kind of day for me. Girlfriends were the winners and I was going to be the loser. The expectation around this day is that someone (usually the male) is required to do something nice for a significant other (usually the female). This usually involved a flower or two and some little stuffed animal with a cutesy heart on it. Closer to the end of this stage, it may have even involved reservations to some place, but I lived in smallish town so the fancy places were out of the question and I had a limited budget. Usually, just “going out” was enough but not always.

I don’t think I had too many girlfriends around the time of Valentine’s Day in college, so I don’t really remember too many from that period. However, I watched a lot of my friends go through the trials of navigating the day. Reservations to places that were “special” and hard to get into suddenly became like a bloodsport competition. Flowers that were normally $12.99 a bouquet most of the year suddenly became $54.99, and that was three weeks in advance (if you could remember to order them). Don’t even think about buying them on the day! Of course, the bigger the bouquet the better. Heart thingy boxes filled with candy and cutesy stuffed animals filled store shelves while Hallmark stores made money hand over foot for brightly colored paper with a sappy words and sentiment inside. As a result, friends who were poor college students before the day just ended up being poorer college students.

Aren’t I entitled to have one day a year about me?

In general, I don’t really like to make things all about me. Yes, I have those days where I might whine and be a tad selfish. But can’t I at least have my birthday?? Can’t I feel more special than normal on one day of the year?

So, that brings me to my current life. My family has been pretty indulgent as well. They make sure that they try not to include “Happy Valentine’s Day” in my birthday greetings, so that makes me feel special too. I get texts from my siblings, my kids, and from friends. I am glad they are thinking of me whilst planning something special for those they love too. I guess I can share a little.

I guess what I am trying to say is that while it sucks to have a birthday on a day like today, it isn’t the end of the world either. It is nice that so many people want to show their love to others in their lives. I am just not sure why it has to be a special day…can’t we just show that we love people every day of the year?

So tonight, I’ll whine a little about getting older. I’ll whine a little more about this stupid “holiday.” Then I’ll sit on the couch, watch a movie or TV program with my family, and have a little wine (or beer). That will be grand.

Happy birthday to all those other Valentine babies that might be out there!

 

Small Windows of My Daughter
low angle photo of white painted room

Photo by Colin Schmitt on Pexels.com

I was scrolling through articles on my Google news feed a while back and came across the article at the bottom of this post. I have to say that it struck a chord with me that I didn’t expect and I actually cried. The reason is because I can identify with what the writer was saying, but in different ways.

Social media is all we have and I honestly devour each and every post she makes because it feels like I am with her.

I too get a small glimpse of who my daughter is and of her daily life via “small windows” she posts on social media. Instagram and Facebook being the main avenues of those glimpses. I am sure she has other social media that she uses (and that scares me to tell the truth) and I also know that what I see on her accounts might not actually be what is going on in life since teens tend to have one account for everyone and then an account for just close friends where they can “be real.” I don’t know if she has any accounts like that for sure, but what I do know is that each time she posts something my heart jumps.

The author of the article (at least from what I can tell) RESIDES in the same home as her daughter and sees her on a regular basis, albeit as much as a teen likes to interact with their family. But, she does get the day-to-day interaction, even if not always the most pleasant.

For me, well, I am a divorcee and like many, many fathers I got the usual “short end of the stick” when it came to visitation. I probably get more than most fathers, but honestly is still isn’t enough. That is the reason the article resonated and was painful for me.

As a father who gets limited time with his daughter it just exacerbates the issue of trying to get to know your child. I think we have a pretty good relationship but it still is hard to KNOW her when she is going through the years of teen growing pains. I long for the discussions about life and for the discussions about what her future might hold and I long for the times of silliness when she was little and I long for…well, I just long for HER.

While most parents likely are tired of the mundane battles of getting kids up for school, and making sure homework is done, and making sure that their friends are “ok” to hang out with, and…I don’t get any of that. Or, at least,  I get very little of it. I want it. I want it.

So, when I saw this article and read the pain the author was experiencing trying to get to know her daughter, even when she lives in the same house, you can imagine how parents who are divorced and don’t get the same exposure to their children feel when it comes to truly seeing who their children are. Social media is all we have and I honestly devour each and every post she makes because it feels like I am with her. I am close.

It’s a consolation prize in a race I so desperately want to win. I hope the seeds I have sown will one day be fruitful and that one day she will feel like she can open up with me and show me the real her. Until then, I’ll keep looking through those small windows and watching my little girl grow. Watching as she reveals a little of herself in each post. Watching….and waiting.

**I recommend you read the article below to understand how this blog post was prompted.

Positive Post-it

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What if you were given a fresh, new pad of Post-it notes that came with a requirement?

Let’s pretend I just gave you a pad and the requirement is that you could only use the notes to pass out encouragement to others, whenever and wherever you can.

  1. How would you use them? Sign them or make them anonymous?
  2. Where would you use them? Leave them in the open or hide them to be found as a surprise another day?
  3. Who would you leave notes for? Obviously you have friends and family that could use some encouragement, but have you ever considered leaving encouragement for strangers – maybe on the bus, at the restaurant, while you are shopping, or at work? Why?? Well, maybe the stranger did or said something that you noticed and deserves a compliment. There could be any number of reasons, but the cool thing is you get to decide.

With all the negativity floating around in the world these days, it would be nice to spread some love and encourage people instead of tearing them down. What do you think?

Are you up to the challenge?

**NOTE** Comment what you would do, or who you would encourage in the comments below. OR, if you want, I would really like if you could take a photo of your notes and post them in the comments. Let’s build a “blog post of positive!”

Aborted: Valentine’s Day Love Letter to Myself

loveletter1

I can’t escape this day, so I might as well embrace it for what it is. What it is, is time to give myself some love, something I have neglected to do for a long time ever.

I have written about Valentine’s Day in the past. I don’t have a love affair with the idea of the day and maybe probably actually despise it a lot little. But something I have never done is actually given myself some affirming words on a day that is should be dedicated to me love. So, let’s give this a try and see how it works out…

My Love Letter To Me

You ARE enough. You don’t have anything to prove to anyone. You don’t have to be everything to everyone, and you shouldn’t try to be. YOU are enough the way you are.

You ARE unique. There is no one like you and you already stand out for the right reasons. YOUR uniqueness shines through in all that you do.

Abort, abort, abort…

OK, that is as far as I got. It totally feels foreign. Awkward! Why is it so weird to talk about myself in this way?

awkward

The truth is that I am not good at this. I guess I have never been very good at accepting compliments, let alone taking them from myself. Maybe I never will be.

I am hard on myself. Always have been. My humor is self-deprecating, but that’s probably a reflection of the fact that I don’t see much that is valuable. I know I am valuable, but affirming it of myself, from myself, is not something I’ve been good at. Is anyone good at it, really?

I suppose most of us probably avoid this sort of thing because we see others who may be good at it but we feel like they are being conceited or full of themselves. “Well, lookie here. Who got up on his/her high horse today?”  We don’t want to come across as someone who is full of themselves so we do the exact opposite and then it turns into a habit, where we beat ourselves up and tear ourselves down.

Oh, for the love of Pete self…

So, has anyone written a love letter to themselves before? How do you do it? Got any hints, tips, pointers?

How did you feel while you were writing it?

How did you feel after you had done? Do you go back and reread it once in a while?

The great mystery here, at least for me, is how to love myself AND actually feel it without feeling like it is phony self-talk. Is that possible?

Goodbye, Gramps

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I knew it was coming, but that doesn’t necessarily make it any easier. It was just a matter of time, but it’s a time you never want to arrive.

He turned 91 just this past September. He’d had several episodes of going in and out of the hospital, but he always came back out – sometimes not quite the same as he went in.

I have been extremely blessed with something I know a lot of my friends and acquaintances haven’t had – until last week, all four of my grandparents were still living. It is something really special for someone to know their grandparent(s) into adulthood. Many people only have vague memories of their grandparents while they were children, or visited so infrequently they never really got to know them. Often, the memories aren’t really memories so much as they are memories given/created by others via conversations and stories, pictures, or maybe a video. So, I am keenly aware of how lucky I have been.

Playing canasta at the kitchen table.
My daughter learning to play from two of the best.

I am struggling with what to write as memories come rushing back to flood my mind, and my eyes, with happiness and joy.

I guess I don’t really need to say much about those.

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I told him to smile for a selfie…this is what I got!

I just need a place to express remembrance and appreciation for a man who loved his wife (their 69th wedding anniversary was the day before his passing) and his children. For raising my dad in a loving home. For raising his family in a home of Christian faith and passing that legacy on to the rest of his family. For working hard, at two jobs (a fruit orchard and a factory) and teaching his family the value of hard work. For having a wry sense of humor and a mischievous smile. For all the time spent camping, and fishing, and playing cards, and laughing. For all the stories of life on the farm. For going back to the family farm in South Dakota and telling us about his younger life in a sod house on the prairie. For the story of outrunning and catching a jack rabbit in the orchard. For the times of sharing meals. For the quiet times sitting on the patio, sharing conversation, a sunset, a cool breeze, and sometimes even a beer. For the garden goodies he grew every year. For his mealtime prayer that never changed and I will forever hear in my head, “God is great and God is good and we thank Him for this food.”

Now, he is home in Heaven with his Savior. He is in His presence, praising the One who gave him life. He is whole again.

I am sure he is now fishing, gardening and farming, playing cards, talking with his parents and the son he lost to cancer while a toddler. He is hanging out and laughing with the siblings that have gone on before him. He is, no doubt, preparing a place for those who will come after him as well – because that is the type of person he was.

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Tools of my grandfather – bench vise and a pole saw he used on the farm.

Saying goodbye to Gramps is, after all, not really a goodbye. It’s just a “see you later.” Cliche, I know, but I believe it really is the truth. I know that one day we will sit together again and do the things we enjoyed here on Earth, because we have been given and accepted a promise.

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A few quiet moments with Gramps, hours before he joined his Heavenly Father.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16

I hope you have that knowledge too. The knowledge and assurance that death is not the end for a loved one, or for yourself. That one day you will be reunited, because it sure takes the sting out of death.

Am I still sad? Yes, of course. Not because I have no hope, but because of the missed opportunities I could have had with him or the opportunities my own kids will miss too. But, with the sadness comes rejoicing as well. How can I not be happy for him as he continues to live, living in triumph over death? There is still a funeral and memorial to come, but for now this will do. Goodbye is so hard to say, and yet…

“Welcome to Heaven, Harold! You are going to be missed down there because you were really loved. But don’t you worry, your family knows where you are and they are celebrating too. We have lots of time and I’ll show you around in a bit. But first, how about I show you a thing or two at canasta…”

Goodbye, Gramps.

A Forever Family Needs Help!
Help bring Chloe home! *Regulations say I can't show you her face yet*

Help bring Chloe home!
*Regulations say I can’t show you her face yet*

The beautiful little girl above has the opportunity to go home to her forever family this year! But, she needs help. FAST!

I have written about this adoption before, If Ever There Was A Good Cause, but that was before there was an actual, real face and child to think about. The idea was there and there was a goal, but it was just so unreal and seemingly intangible. Well, things have changed and there is now a very real, very tangible goal in mind. But time is short, so anything you can do (no matter how small it may be) helps bring this pretty little girl one step closer to her new home in Hawaii with an amazing family.

They are trying to raise funds in a very short amount of time to help defray the costs of the adoption, which includes traveling to China to meet her for the first time and bring her home. With about two months to go, they could use some help, like right now!!

I am including the links to their fundraising efforts so that you can help them be successful! But most of all, for a little child of God to come home to a family that has loved her for a long time without even knowing her. Again, there can be no greater cause than this.

GoFundMe

MyThirtyOne.com

purecharity.com

Thanks so much for considering this as a way to change the world, one life at a time. Be the difference in one life.

Thankful for a Gift

This has been on my heart since before Thanksgiving, I just haven’t had much time to formulate it into a manner which makes sense to me so I am just gonna put it out there.

In the Sunday morning services at my church this year the pastor was talking about the true meaning of thankfulness for a Christian. This wasn’t a new concept for me, I have heard sermons like this before but our new pastor has a way of putting things that makes me think much more deeply than I have in the past. In his sermon the Sunday before Thanksgiving he asked a simple question that many of us probably really haven’t taken much time to ponder. So, I am gonna ask you the same question. You can choose to respond, or not. But please ponder it, deeply, because it might change how you see this time of year, but it might also change YOU.

What are you thankful for AND how long will it last?

After having just come out of the Thanksgiving (last month here in America) season and now just about to celebrate Christmas I wonder if you really know what you are thankful for. Moreover, you many even know what you are thankful for, but have you really taken the time to contemplate how long it will last?

If you are like most people, you probably can answer that questions with a long list of things you are thankful for.

Good health.

A house, a car.

A job, an income, a BIG income.

Family: parents, children, grandchildren, brothers, sisters, cousins…

Clothing, a warm place to lay your head, a retirement account, a big TV, etc.

The point of the questions is, how long will those things last? Health is fleeting and as we age it will deteriorate. Wealth is temporary and can be gone in an instant. Those material possessions you have worked so hard for are going to break down and need to be replaced at some point in the future. The point: none of it lasts. It never will. No matter how hard we try to make it happen, it just won’t.

An Eternal GIFT

it is Christmas Eve and we are about to spend time with family. I love them a lot, however they are only temporary. That thought both pains me and gives me joy. I want them to be with me forever and I want them to live forever, but the only way that can happen is if they do one thing: accept a gift they neither deserve nor can they earn. Thankfully, most of them have accepted that gift. Maybe you would like to as well?

The GIFT came in the form of a little baby so long ago. God sent his son to earth so that he might endure a human life and then give himself, as a sacrifice, to atone for my sins. Not just mine, but everyone’s, including yours. That is a GIFT no one except a loving God can give. Think about that. He gave up something that means the most to Him so that we might have eternal life. How many of us would willingly give up what means the most to us, just so someone who deserves nothing could have everything?

This Christmas we celebrate isn’t about those gifts that may be under the tree. Most of us know this, but many of us fail to grasp the weight of it and simply go about our busy lives failing to appreciate the GIFT that was given to us.

What are you thankful for AND how long will it last?

How long will it last? That question has haunted me. Everything is temporary, except one thing – eternal life. An eternal life given to me, you too if you accept it, through the birth of a child, which eventually led to his death.

The only thing I am sure of this Christmas season is that I have accepted GIFT that no one else can give me. I have accepted a GIFT that nothing can destroy, be stolen, or lost. I know as I end this year and begin the next that no matter what happens I have a GIFT that can never be taken from me. It is forever! There are no other things in life that can make that claim. No other things in life that can be guaranteed with that much certainty. No other things that will last beyond this world.

If you don’t have that kind of thankfulness and if you haven’t accepted the GIFT no one else can give you, I would encourage you to seek someone out that knows what this GIFT is all about. You can contact me, if you like, and I will do my best to answer your questions, but I am still learning and growing in this lifelong journey.

However you do it, do it soon! Remember, those things you sat around a table and were thankful for about a month ago are only temporary and you never know how much time God has granted you on this ball of dirt and water. The sooner you choose to accept THE GIFT that will not fail, the sooner you can live in confidence of an eternal life. What better thing to be thankful for than that?

I can’t think of anything.

If Ever There Was a Good Cause

THIS IS IT!!

My life has been affected by adoption. I have two beautiful, amazing, and strong Korean born sisters. They came to this country so long ago (when they were 13 months and 6 months old) that it is hard to imagine that they were not originally part of the family. I was 12 when my first sister arrived and I was excited for the new change in my life. I was going to have a little sister! When my second sister arrived, I was just as excited to have another little sister. My parents made the choice to adopt two little girls out of a Christian run orphanage in Seoul, South Korea. I AM SO GLAD THEY DID! I am immensely proud to call them my sisters and love them dearly.

If Ever There Was a Good Cause

That is where the Van Notric family comes in. You see, they too have a desire and a dream to adopt a little girl. Not just a little girl, but a special needs little girl. What a challenge that God has lain on their hearts! They are an amazing family and they need help to make this dream come true. For them it is a mission, a calling, if you will.

They have been working on this adoption for a long time and have faced many a challenge along the way. Doors have opened and doors have closed. It would appear as though another door is close to opening but they have some final hurdles to get over still. Why adoption has to be so expensive is anyone’s guess. I mean, if you are doing good in this world, why would the cost of adoption stand in the way of that?

If Ever There Was a Good Cause

Typically, I get a little annoyed with the “GoFundMe” campaigns that I get invited to view or that randomly appear on my Facebook feed. However, this is NOT one of those times. This is one of those time that you just feel compelled to do something. I don’t have a ton of funds to offer, but what I do have (though limited, admittedly) is a platform in which I can spread the word and maybe help this family on their journey to making the world a better place.

Please visit their GoFundMe site and read their story. I think you will be impressed and I think you will want to help them.

http://www.gofundme.com/waitingforchloe

Afterall, who doesn’t want to make the world a better place? Even if we have to do it one person at a time, it is worth it. You can help that happen. And, even if you can’t afford to help financially, maybe you know someone who can or someone that has a passion for adoption or someone that likes making dreams come true or someone that can share their story too. All the help they can get is appreciated, I know. I know them personally and they would be very grateful.

Thank you. Thank you for helping in one way or another. Thank you for making a difference. Thank you for help a special little girl have a permanent home and family.

Thank you.

The Eternal Hope of Spring

How can one not love this time of year?  This time of the year brings forth all sorts of newness and spawns the eternal hope of renewal for so many things.  The eternal hope of Spring comes every year, but rarely lasts longer than a few months.  The joy of this season for me is almost uncontainable and I look forward to it with immense anticipation.  At times, hope swells beyond control and occasionally bubbles to the surface on my face or even in the sparkle of my eyes.  This Spring, nothing has changed.  I eagerly await that which I have yearned for since it last left.

For some, Spring means the chance to get out of doors.  Spring brings forth the desire to shed the confines of the abode and venture to new places, seeing new sites along the way.  The chance to attain mountain highs or the valley’s depths inspire many to don quickly packed clothing and devour hastily prepared snacks as they clamor towards a space of solitude amongst God’s great creation.  I, too, long for these spaces and, in the past, have heeded their call.  I have been fortunate enough to gander upon hidden wonders and soak up rays of sunshine as I traverse among the stately pines on the Northwest.  Again, these spaces are calling to me, but my eternal hope of Spring does not lie there.

For others, the eternal hope of Spring brings forth new growth.  As the sun warms the Earth and the falling rains soak the land, new life emerges from what appears to be death’s grip.  Naked trees begin to clothe themselves in green buds, seeking a rebirth of sorts.  Soon, bare soil comes to life with carpets of green and the grass coats vast valleys with its protective blanket.  Flowers begin their delicate lives from nothingness, it seems.  Suddenly they make their appearances everywhere, shining forth the joy they bring to so many.  Yes, this time of year brings new life and hope.  Nature reminds us that all is not lost and that we can start anew once more.  Again, I find joy in this part of Spring’s emergence.  I am awed at the struggle in which many partake to coax their yard’s landscape to be revitalized.  Can they make the lawn lavishly lush again?  Can they control the warrior weeds?  Will the flowers flounder or flourish?  Yet, while these struggles are calling, my eternal hope of Spring does not lie here.

For still others, Spring brings new and budding romance.  The hope of emerging nature and silent solitude is overrun with fluttering hearts and heals over heads.  Much like the reminders of that which comes with this Spring, we are reminded that companionship is what all humans clamor for.  Shared experiences are better than those of loneliness.  The romance of the season lurks under the surface, waiting to be released.  For those lucky enough to find it, smiles and laughter are intertwined with moments of tenderness such as holding hands, hugs, and kisses.  Sun provides the warmth for the earth, but romance supplies warmth for the heart.  As I have experienced these times in the past, I treasured them for I knew they may only be fleeting moments; however, my eternal hope of Spring does not lie there either.

My eternal hope of Spring lies, like so many other sports fans, with the “Boys of Summer.”  My eternal hope comes with the reporting of pitchers and catchers to warmer climes such as Florida and Arizona.  My eternal hope springs forth as the snap of the glove and the knock of the bat are heard once again.  My eternal hope rises to the surface as anticipation of a new season, a new year, a new chance comes.  For me, Spring is the re-emergence of the greatest sport known to man.  No games have been played and everyone has an equal chance at immortality.  The off-season has come to a close and soon dusty diamonds all over the world will once again ring with the laughter of children learning the game.  Fields of dreams will come alive, daring men to dance upon them.  Fans will gather in homes, in stands, in stadiums to witness delightful deeds of the diamond or witness foolish field follies.  We will yell at men in blue and at televisions as though it will make a difference, believing in “our” team once again.   The eternal hope of Spring gives me and all other fans the chance to dream once more that our team will stand alone in October.  Champions!

The real eternal hope of Spring is . . . baseball.