Attack of the Naps

Napping. One of the great mysteries of life. Why did we hate them so much as kids, yet today think about them all the time. You might not, but I sure do! Ever have those days that just don’t seem to end and all you can think about is taking a nap? For me, it is more like every day. I fought them as a kid because I didn’t want to take them, and now I fight them because I have to “be an adult” and work. Doesn’t seem fair, does it? If only we wouldn’t have fought them so hard when we were younger. Anyways, I have noticed a pattern for these “nap attacks” so I thought I would share it with you.

Don’t we all?

5:00am The alarm goes off and the day begins with a shower and dressing.

5:47am  First thoughts of lying down to take a nap begin.

6:00am  Out the door for my hour long commute to work.

6:22, 6:39, & 6:52am  Thoughts of pulling over before my eyes close. “Head bobs” have begun and maintaining lane position is tenuous. Perhaps the back seat is more comfortable than it looks.

7:04am  The busyness of the day as a school teacher begins and the desire for naps subside for a short time.

10:44am  When is 3rd period over? 16 minutes, meaning a little over an hour to lunch. Should I use lunch today to take a nap with my head on my desk, or just lay on the floor behind my desk and use my jacket as a pillow?

11:23am  Only 37 more minutes till lunch and nap time!

11:24am  Only 36 more minutes till nap time.

11:33am  Man, this is a long hour. Only 27 more minutes to an awesome, quiet nap…gotta remember to lock my classroom door when they all leave.

Is that a keyboard impression on your face?

11:56am YES! It is almost time. Survive four more minutes!

12:01pm  Crap! I forgot to make copies for 5th period and I have to find time to eat. Maybe if I take my sandwich to the copy room with me and eat while the machine works, I can still work in a 20 minute nap.

12:03pm  The copier is out of toner and I have to walk to the office to get more (or it is jammed, out of staples, out of paper, or turned off completely). Nap time is slipping away. Maybe if I hurry…

12:04pm Please, people, I am on a mission and can’t stop to talk. Can’t you see this as I fly by you in speed-walker mode?

12:17pm  Copies are done (or other small project). The hope of a nap has faded since there is only 13 minutes of lunch left. Perhaps I should work on something for tomorrow. Maybe a nap before I go home for the day is still an option.

1:33pm  Short video in class today. The room is dark, and warm. If I sit in the back  and close my eyes, do you think they’ll notice my nap? “Mr. G, I need to go to the bathroom. Can I go?” Ok, if it weren’t for the interruptions I could make it work. Better not risk it. Dagnabit!!

2:23pm  Seven minutes ’til school is out. I can’t wait. Gonna close and lock the door. That afternoon Circadian Dip is working at full force. I may not survive. Stay upright, stay upright!

2:33pm  After several minutes of end of the day questions, closing the door for a nap is impossible as students filter in to finish essays, assignments, or take tests that were missed in previous days. I should have locked that thing before class was over!

3:09pm  Work, work, work! When will it be over and I can go home?

4:14pm  Time to head for home. A short nap when I get home might be a good idea!

4:36pm  “Head bobs” begin again.

4:44pm  I seriously begin to contemplate guardrails. What are they for? Hey, if I ease my car into it, I can take a nap and the guardrail can act as a guide to get me home. Think of them as bumperguides…

4:47pm  Guess the idea about guardrails isn’t a good idea. Naps aren’t worth the thousands in repairs needed for the car.

4:50pm  Begin pinching my arm, punching my thigh, and chewing gum to stay awake. A loud radio doesn’t work, as it eventually becomes white noise in the background. Turning on the AC (or rolling down the window at certain times of the year) doesn’t work either, the cold becomes overwhelming and the hypothermia lulls you into a desire to sleep as well.

5:19pm  HOME! My family is happy to see me (most of the time), a kiss from the wife, and read the mail. Desire for a nap has subsided at the moment.

5:24pm  Second wind has struck. Family activities dominate the evening.

7:55pm  Sitting on the couch, a brief thought of a nap comes back. However, it is close to bed time so I fight the urge, otherwise there will be little sleep tonight.

9:21pm  Bed time. Not really a nap, but I’ll take it. The warm, soft bed is calling my name. DO NOT GET IN MY WAY!

There you have it. My near daily battle with “nap attacks.” I am sure all of you out there have similar battles with naps. Tell me about them and we can commiserate together as we survive adulthood and responsibility, both of which don’t seem to make time for naps – even when we want to.

**Post script**  Whew!! That was tiring. All this talk of naps makes me want to take a nap. I think I’ll go take a nap now. Happy napping!

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